How to get over Childhood Trauma to become a better you

childhood trauma

The best childhood trauma quote that I could find is “There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds.”   Laurell  K. Hamilton

Childhood trauma meaning or definition is the mental and physical damage that appears in a child due to emotionally painful or distressful events that the child couldn’t reconcile with. Notice the word emotional distress. This emotional distress could be due to physical or emotional abuse or neglect. Sexual violence, bullying, neglect, controlling behavior, invalidating environment, narcissistic parents, mentally ill parents, and insecure surroundings can all cause a child to grow up with damaged emotional responses. The result is an adult with a child’s emotional reaction to the slightest of insecurity. Nothing really can compensate for the lost years of emotional growth, but the self-harming instincts can be curbed.

In Urdu Childhood trauma meaning is bachpan mai jazbaat par zakham.

childhood trauma

Naturally, these wounds leave a grown person stunned, depressed, reactive, socially abrasive, unproductive, and always in a fight-or-flight mode. It’s like perpetually behaving like a war veteran who has seen intense fighting. Childhood trauma’s effect on the brain is like they have fried the part of the brain that deals with an appropriate emotional response to a stimulus. Severe Childhood trauma is also linked to poor emotional control, narcissism, sociopathic and Psychopathic traits.

The childhood trauma statistics of the USA for 2015 was 9.2 children in 1000 were either abused or neglected. Another childhood trauma statistic says two-thirds of children 12-17 years of age have experienced two or more trauma incidences.

Children that have suffered childhood trauma have a heightened response to stress and forming relationships and perceived abandonment. Early on, childhood trauma symptoms are poor sleeping patterns, self-soothing mechanisms, low self-esteem, depression, low immunity, unstable personalities, poor memory, and attention deficit. 



If you hear yourself frequently saying “I take care of me.”, “I’m compliant and passive.”, ‘I need to stay alert.”, “I need to be in control and I’m angry.”, ‘why am I not getting the attention I deserve?’, ‘I am like this because of him…’ and ‘I am worthless’, then, you were probably traumatized in your early years.

The symptoms of childhood trauma in adulthood or later on in life are all related to emotional stability. Symptoms can be uncontrollable crying, temporary elation, incorrect assessment of self, hermit-like nature,  isolation, childlike emotional tantrums, difficulty in jobs and academic pursuits, weak memory, uncontrollable rage, negative emotions like revenge and jealousy, unhealthy addictions like sex, drugs, and alcohol. Also, difficulty forming relations, having unhealthy relations, and the need for constant validation. Worthlessness and lack of motivation can also point to the same.

These symptoms are the test of the presence of childhood trauma in adults and the diagnosis is mostly Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Some vulnerable war veterans develop PTSD after a particularly difficult stint at war. There are some adults that lived through the stress and emotional abuse that seemed like war to a child and hence develop PTSD.

Childhood Trauma can be triggered by the unintentional poor parenting of a kid that couldn’t be understood correctly. 

One childhood trauma test is the Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) Quiz. The higher the score on this childhood trauma scale, the worse the symptoms will be.

These voices in the head of the sufferer, due to past trauma, keep replaying like a record — until they define the person. As a child, they might help cope with the fears and toxic environment around the child. But the real problem starts in the larger adult world.

This person may marry but never form true intimacy in their relationship. Their passivity not only drives others crazy but keeps them from discovering life. Their anxiety keeps them living in the future; their negativity overshadowing the positive and their over-reactions disrupt their relationships. Conversely, their anger dominates, and they have control but are at war with the world. Hyper trauma could trigger narcissism where they lose touch with their soul.

For childhood trauma sufferers, parenting would not come naturally. This is because they are not conditioned to handle the subtleties of first, understanding, directing, and nurturing their children’s cues.

It doesn’t end here. The low dopamine and serotonin in childhood trauma victims and constantly keeping the nervous system on the edge can lead to autoimmune diseases like Parkinson’s, motor neuron disease, and even strokes. 

Here is how to get out of this debilitating condition and opening yourself to light once again:-

  • Slow down from work and pen down the voices in your head; Separate the past from the present and hold it there. Any kind of stress is devastating for childhood trauma sufferers.
  • Keep a few happy memories at the top of your head before the painful memory consolidates. Smile while you recall the happy times.
  • Know your triggers and devise your own strategies to coast over them, without spiraling into negativity. One way is learned Dialectic Behavior Therapy; then is yoga; intense prayer works too. Keep a few happy memories always in your head for testing times.
  • Now start stepping away from your ingrained toxic reactions and standing up for the frightened child inside. Take one positive reaction at a time.
  • Start speaking out, take concrete steps on resolving your inner turmoil, learn to be less abrasive, consider the other point of view, and try to reign in manipulation and toxicity. Start to really feel the love of people.
  • Forgive yourself and be the loving parent to yourself that you deserve.
  • Now get closure by writing a detailed letter to whoever traumatized you. Then, write back to yourself. Be your tormentor and ask forgiveness for not understanding you — seek forgiveness from ‘you’; let your traumatizer say that it was not your fault. Forgive every night before bedtime.
  • In the end, try and find your innate talent. Pursue it every day.

Start exercising preferably exercise that raises heartbeat for a half-hour every day and coordinates limbs and brain; for example swimming. Use supplements like omega-3 fatty acids, GABA, Valerian root, magnesium that soothe frayed nerves. Dump fake friends and surround yourself with real people who care for you.

Now I’ll go over the data you’ve been requesting related to Childhood trauma. Firstly, the childhood trauma 28 point screening questionnaire costs money. But these questionnaires have the same information. 

As some the trauma symptoms are similar to depression, I have already covered them here. A very useful Ted talk on adverse childhood experiences is by Nadine Burke Harris. Seek professional help from a specialist. Experiment with a few before settling with someone with a bit of intuition.

Good Luck lovelies!

For related topics, you can go to these links,

Borderline Personality Disorder 

how to get out of depression,

how to deal with a sociopath 

how to improve yourself.

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