Helping loved ones with Borderline Personality Disorder

borderline personality disorder

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a serious mental illness that involves difficulty in ‘relationships’.

Distinct features of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

  • Building relationships, rapport, and maintaining them is nearly impossible for such people.
  • As healthy relationships involve accepting other’s weaknesses in the ‘grey zone, this quality is alien to Borderlines.

A person can either be all good or all evil – and nothing in-between.

Everyone eventually lands in the evil category — when emotions are going haywire.

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) meaning

BPD is defined as a personality disorder of emotional regulation that keeps the patient on the border between neurosis and psychosis.

Borderline Personality Disorder BPD in Urdu

BPD in Roman Urdu would be woh zehni bemaari jo insaan ko aasaabi aur khud sakhta zehni kaifeeyat ke darmyaan rakhti hai.

What causes Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)?

BPD has its roots in bad parenting at an early age (1-2 years old).

BPD starts very early, somewhere around 2-4 years of age.

There are several patients with this illness that swear they had a wonderful childhood.

There is also research that says that it is mostly genetics.

All in all, genetics is the cause and bad parenting is the trigger.

What triggers Border Personality Disorder splitting?

It can be anything

  • a gesture
  • a misinterpreted word
  • fear that you will abandon them
  • too much availability
  • boredom
  • berating them
  • Borderline Personality Disorder BPD Test 

If you have at least 5 traits of this Borderline Personality Disorder criteria test, then you will be diagnosed with BPD.

Family of BPD patient

Most people in Pakistan are unaware of mental illnesses and BPD patients are largely ignored as trouble makers or crazy b*tches

It’s the family around the borderline that suffers in silence, some with scars too deep to show to the world.


Emotional dis-regulation in BPD

The borderline is stuck emotionally in his childhood and its unfulfilled security.

Every subsequent relationship is sought to fill that emotional and security void.

All adult roles are supposed to be handled by their partners, while they wallow in their imagined misery.

BPD and fear of abandonment

Borderlines are emotionally volatile and fear abandonment like the plague.

They would automatically get rid of any relationship that steps on the minefield that is their insecure self.   

The worst are the borderlines that have not been diagnosed.

The coast through life, destroying relationships around them and leaving a trail of damaged personalities in their wake.

BPD Problems with Jobs and relationships

Most borderlines can’t hold on to long-term jobs as they don’t have a steady self-image and can’t relate normally to their work colleagues— that involves the boss too.

Because these people never grew up emotionally, their characteristic traits are gaslighting, blame-shifting, burning bridges, intoxication, drug use, promiscuity, and extreme sensitivity.

Good qualities of BPD

Don’t get me wrong they have some admirable qualities as well — the ones that cause the most damage.

Borderlines are high on

  • charm,
  • energy,
  • attractiveness,
  • passion,
  • empathy,
  • intuition and
  • quickly picking up on people’s needs.  
  • They are excellent with animals.
  • In trying to fit in with their new environment, they would mimic your personality, likings, and values — because they never developed their own.

Borderline Personality Disorder BPD Symptoms

Inability to maintain relationships, emotional control, keep jobs, and suicidal thoughts.

Borderline Personality Disorder BPD traits

Besides the traits mentioned above here is a checklist for you all to spot one:-

  • Wildly fluctuating emotions and uncontrollable negative thoughts and manipulation.
  • black or white; all good or all bad thinking about everyone
  • Dissociation with their current environment
  • The boredom leads to impulsive adventures and abrupt changes in the environment and people.
  • Suicide attempts or thoughts

How to live with a Borderline Personality Disorder person

Now that you know how to find them, this is how to handle them:

  • Protect your soul by dissociating selectively
  • Understand that this is incurable but manageable
  • Constantly encourage their positive initiatives
  • Constant reassurance for not abandoning them
  • Give them the true impression that they are needed in your life
  • Find them a low intensity, 30 hours a week, structured job
  • Let them pursue their creativity every day.
  • Do not say they are wrong — they know it themselves
  • Let them reach a conclusion on BPD themselves
  • Let them get rid of people that trigger their negativity
  • Allow them to build a routine, structured life — every day
  • Exercise for 30 minutes every day
  • Use naturally occurring mood enhancers like HTTP-5, Valerian root, and Omega-3 fatty acids
  • Let them come back from their blackout phase, on their own terms
  • Keep a pet dog
  • Tell them everything will be alright eventually — which is the truth.
  • Try to find a steady income for them, with little people interaction involved
  • Try Dialectic Behavior Therapy, with a specialist — not a quack.

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual DSM-5 of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition list 10 mental disorders and the criteria for Borderline Personality Disorder is this.

Borderline Personality Disorder BPD Treatment and medication

The best treatment that I can recommend is to

  • exercise at least 30 minutes every day for 5 days per week,
  • eat moderately,
  • isolate yourself, and
  • use dopamine and omega-3 supplements.
  • Drop pure sugar completely
  • Drink Green Tea a lot
  • Borderline Personality Disorder Celebrities and Examples

Famous celebrities with BPD

The most famous BPD celebrities are Lindsey Lohan, Brittney Spears and lady Diana.

I am not suggesting BPD makes you reach celebrity status, but just to tell you celebrities with BPD suffer too.

Best Video explaining BPD

The best video on Borderline Personality Disorder is this one.

Who do BPD damage the most?

BPDs do most of the damage to themselves and their loved ones.

People in Pakistan don’t care enough to recognize these injured souls.

This information will mean a lot to the people that have to live with and build a life with these tortured souls.

Remember, they are good people, dealt with rotten cards in life.


If you want me to personally help someone with BPD, call me at 03005111523

Good luck!

 If you have liked this article, do see my other pieces on

Similar Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *