Narcissist Boss : Tips on How to Handle Them

A Narcissist Boss is someone who has power over you and tries to exercise these powers in an abusive way.

Traits and Signs of a Narcissist Boss

1. Self-centered, arrogant, no-empathy, fake, status-seeking, flip-flop about people, cold as steel, admiration-seeking, zero morality, high rollers, manipulative, likely addicts, emotional vampires, criticism averse, and very dark.
2. Their conversation is mostly one-way, an mostly about their own greatness. This could be about personal fortune, qualities, success in superficial things and physical attributes that seem unimportant to normal people.
3. Narcissist are convinced that deserve to be entitled to special treatment by all around them, including those that don’t fall under their direct influence. It is like the the World owes them a debt of gratitude for existing.
4. These grandiose people demand unqualified benefits, privillages, resources and promotions that are not meant for people in their category. 
5. A Narcissist believes that they are above norms, customs, policies, regulations either in the work space or in dealing with the people around them. Naturally, then the take credit for work which is not theirs and shift blame on to others.
6. The most obvious sign of a Narcissist is that they lack sympathy for the unfortunate and empathy for the weak. The ones in their direct care will never receive the understanding, feeling or care from such a boss, unless it suits their personal ambitions.
7. Narcissist is skilled at finding their Boss’s weakness and using the abundant charm, break all codes to supply that to the only person more powerful than they are.
8. These Bosses are masters of Mind Games and would slowly break down and tear apart anyone that shines more brighter, and even the most vulnerable for sport.
9. Narcissist swing wildly between lying, cheating, stealing, acting noble; threatening then praising to get what they want at that time.

Who is a Narcissist Boss?

The Kingsh*t guy or gal who thinks they are God’s gift to mankind and every subordinate is their slave to be exploited and abused to climb further in the ranks of success by deferring only to the ones more powerful then they are.

These toxic people, have unbridled ambition for high status and take no prisoners on the way up.

Narcissist Boss as CEOs

Ironically this lack of remorse or morals, makes them the ideal executives, especially as top Military Bureaucrats.

Known Narcissists

1. Donald Trump
2. Douglas MacArthur 
3. Steve Jobs

Narcissist in Society

A 2008 study in the US of 34000 adults highlighted 6.4% had narcissistic traits. Further studies indicate fatherless households, toxic home environment, social media prevalence, and genetics are leading to an increasing trend of narcissism in the population inside USA.

Difference between Narcissist and Sociopath

Narcissists are accepted in society despite being obviously self centered and greedy because popular culture eulogizes these qualities. Sociopaths on the other hand cross over to the darker side and can have murder and serious Anti Social Behavior in mind, not just ambition. 

Also Narcissist are mostly cultivated at home and Sociopaths are cultivated in institutions.

How to deal with Narcissist Boss?

1. Do not try to either join their club or work against them. Give them a dispassionate deference.
2. Whatever you do, do not show them any genuine emotion, personal cues or your weakness.
3. After you leave their direct charge, simply go no contact with them. That means no calls, no handshake, no text – completely cold Turkey.
4. If you can’t avoid them, then protect your interests with utmost politeness.
5. It will be suicidal to fall into their opposition category or competition. They are ruthless and unscrupulous with their threat.
6. Give them genuine praise which they crave, but don’t join the fan club.
7. Quietly collect evidence of their transgressions, rule-bending, and mistakes, without them suspecting, for a rainy day. Especially something that the Boss’s boss dislikes.
8. Always keep your work casually authenticated by another senior.
9. Act like an adult when the Narc is furious, which they will be to terrorize their prey – so, be calm and rational. Don’t escalate in any way.
10. The only ones they respect are people who are genuinely high caliber, solid as a rock and can make them shine brighter.
11. Don’t try to shine too much in front of them. Give the impression that you are polishing their apple.
12. Don’t jump headlong into their high-risk, high reward scheme. The only one getting rewarded will be them, while you languish in jail or divorced.
13. Convince yourself that everything they say is a lie to manipulate people.
14. Don’t get hooked to their charm drug, as gas-lighting, abuse and bullying will start immediately after.
15. They don’t understand give and take, as all relations are transactional. If you want something then ask for it and expect to do something huge in return.
16. Don’t even try to fix them. It a personality disorder, hardwired inside their structure.
17. No point in hating someone who isn’t anybody in particular at all. Narcissists are social chameleons’, a mirage.
18. They are more experienced at revenge. So, drop the idea.

Dealing with Female Narcissist Boss

Female Narcissist Boss is deceiving. You’d have to double time to spot her vices (believe me every narcissist has a vice) and build evidence – because the male executives will believe the charming female with no morals or qualms.

Diagnose Narcissistic Personality Quiz

1. A simple one is the only three-minute test 
2. A More Lengthy but valid Test

How to Beat, Manipulate and Expose a Narcissist Boss?

1. Give me lots of complements, validation and attention
2. Stay in their side of the court and let them be in-charge
3. Try to find their covert Vices and document them
4. Keep solid but respectful boundaries
5. Give them what they desire – but piecemeal
6. Casually play at their insecurity of being perfect
7. Act High Value and Desirable
8. Build your rapport with other powerful figures 
9. Expose them when they are weakest – without mercy

Conclusion

Narcissist Boss, both men and women, are an unfortunate but necessary byproduct of today’s limitless greed. Every career person will come across one and you will have to decide either to build an invisible wall around you and simply go “No Contact” or patiently collect your arsenal for total destruction of the Narcissist.

If you want in person help, do inbox me

Also see,

Borderline Personality

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder 

Depression